Eric Cartman, better known as Cartman, is the fat ass of the group. He doesn't say he's fat, just big boned. He had an anal probe and used to fart fire because of it. He idolizes Adolf Hitler, in fact he dressed up as him for Holoween, that is until the South Park Elementary principal forces him to change it. She makes him change into a scary "ghost" costume which mysteriously looks like a Ku Klux Klan uniform. He had a cat for a pet but when it tried to get his choclate chicken pot pie, he farted fire on it. Choclate chicken pot pies are just one of his favourite foods, his others are cheesy poofs and powdered doughnut pancake surprise. His mom was on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. Cartman has a pot-bellied pig named Fluffy. Fluffy had sex with Kyle's elephant, and gave birth to a pot-bellied pig that looks like Mr. Garrison. He thinks that Kyle's mom is a bitch because she gets "Terrance and Phillip" taken off of the air, and she ruins Christmas by saying that the South Park Elementary Christmas play's nativity scene is offensive to the Jewish community. He gets sent to Ethiopia by accident instead of Starvin Marvin. He got a D- on his ancient cultures paper, which was mysteriously about Simon and Simon. He drinks Weight Gain 4000 which makes him a hell of alot fatter than normal. He also had an 80 foot sattelite dish sticking out of his ass. He proclaims Starvin Marvin his son, because he adopted him, and that Kenny doesn't get any custody because he's too poor. He won the Environmental Essay Contest, and Kathie Lee Gifford almost presents him the trophy for winning. When he was handing out invitastions for his birthday, Pip didn't get one. When he asked Cartman about it, he wondered what he did with it. He then remembered what he did, he shoved it up his ass! He told all of his friends what they were supposed to buy him for his birthday, but when Kyle didn't buy him the red megaman he got really pissed off, and stopped the party. He farted on Damien, and started calling him Fart Boy. He had a crush on Ms. Ellen, and tried the hardest of the four to become a lesbian. He tried licking carpets and eating boxes, but of course he wasn't a lesbian. He was going to buy Ms. Ellen a vacuum cleaner for Valentine's Day, but bought her a chocolate pie instead. of course he ate it himself, too. During and archaeological field trip he found a triangle but threw it away, then when Kyle foundit, he wanted it back. He broke into Kyle's house one night and took it back. Then he hid it in his shoe, and Barbara Streisand stole it, and completed the Diamond of Pantheos. He had a few tea parties in his back yard with his stuffed animals, because he didn't know who his dad was. He tried very hard to find out the true identity of his father, and had Maphesto do some DNA tests for $3,000 from the video that the other three boys made and entered in America's Stupidest Home Videos. They should have won but Stan's Grandpa made of video of Kenny getting hit by a train, so he won the $10,000. However, they still got the $3,000 that they gave to Cartman for his DNA tests. He suspected Chief Runningwater, Chef, and Mr. Garrison of being his father, but we still have no idea who it is.