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You owe me a sweetie pop asshole! (Cartman)
I can assure you that it has absolutely nothing to do with the Japanese Mafia.(Mayor)
In other news a pinkeye epidemic is now sweeping the town of South Park. Here with a live report is a midget wearing a bikini. (News Caster)
Yeah! Just because your mom is a stupid bitch doesn't mean the whole world has to suffer. Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman. Oh! Biiiiitch. Yer mom is a bebibibiiitch. And now back to Terrance and Phillip. (Cartman, Kyle, TV Announcer)
Cartman's song about Kyle's mom (See the scripts section) (Cartman, Kyle, Mr. Hankey)
We'll be doing a canned food drive. Does anybody know what a canned food drive is? Yes Eric? When they cut up a chick's stomach to get a baby out. No, that's a sesarian section, Eric, but that's okay remember there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. (Mr. Garrison, Cartman)
Oh, dude! I'm starting to have flashbacks! What? Stand forth, pull up flight! Look out for Charlie! Up in the trees! (Cartman, Stan)
Oh! Did they give you an anal probe? (Chef)
I'm gonna make loooove. Even when I'm Dead. My body might get coooold, but it's always hot in my bed! (Chef)
You want some Cheese Poofs too? Yeah I want Cheese Poofs! (Cartman, Mrs. Cartman)
Bad dog! [Hey Stan's dog's gay!] What?! Yeah dude, I think your dog is gay. (Stan, Kenny, Cartman)
What was your paper about, Wendy? My paper was on the suffering of bottle-nosed dolphins. Well ya see. You shouldn't have written a paper about dolphins, dolphins are stupid. Dude, dolphins are like the second smartest animal on the planet. Bah, ah, right. If they're so damn smart, how come they get caught in those fishing nets all the time. (Kyle, Wendy, Stan, Cartman)
Sit, Sparky. Good boy. Now shake. Good boy. Now don't be gay, don't be gay Spark, don't be gay. Did it work. I don't know. Hey he still looks pretty gay to me. (Stan, Kyle, Cartman)
Sit down back there! Aaaaah! Yeah, whatever ya fat bitch. What did you say? I said I have a bad itch. Oh. (Ms. Crabtree, Stan)
There's this guy named Jack Leborkian, that goes around and murders people that ask him to. And he doesn't get in any trouble at all! (Kyle)
[Oh my god!] (SHITTING) [Owwww!] (SHITTING)
(Kenny)
Maybe he went shopping for some leather pants. (PUNCH) Aaah! (Cartman, Stan)
What's your name, dude. (NOISES) I think he said his name is Marvin. Yeah! Starvin' Marvin! (Kyle, Starvin' Marvin, Stan, Cartman)
(ELEPHANT NOISES) Aaah there's nothing worse than gettin' all drunk and wakin' up the next morning next to a pig... (PIG NOISES) or a big fat elephant. (Kyle's elephant, Chef, Cartman's pig)
We can still get her! Bah mmph! (Mr. Hat)
Meow. No kitty, this is my pot pie. Meow. No kitty! That's a bad kitty! Meow! No kitty! It's my pot pie! Mom! Kitty's bein' a dildo! Well then I know a certain kitty kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight. What? (Cartman's cat, Cartman, Mrs. Cartman)
It happened again, didn't it? Now we do things my way. I can't kill her Mr. Hat. Yer gonna have to do it. (LAUGHS) (Mr. Hat, Mr. Garrison)
Hey Stan, did you see that rainbow this morning? Yeah, it was huge! Ech! I hate those things! Nobody hates rainbows. Yeah! What's there to hate about rainbows? Well, you know, you'lll just be sitting there, minding your own business, and they'll come marching in and crawl up yer leg and start biting the inside of yer ass and you'll be all like, Ehh! Get outta my ass you stupid rainbows! Cartman, what the hell are you talking about? I'm talkinn' about rainbows! I hate those friggin' things! Rainbows are those little arches of colour that show up during a rainstorm. Ohhh, rainbows! Oh, yeah, I like those, those are cool! What were you talking about? Huh? Oh, nothing, forget it. No! What marches in, crawls up your leg, and bites the inside of your ass?! Nothing! (Kyle, Stan, Cartman)
Stan's dog's a homo! Stan's dog's a homo! (Cartman)
Zeepoonaner! (Ike)